My Story

I’m Abbie, and I’ve always felt different—like I was on the outside looking in, trying to understand how to fit into a world that never seemed to make much sense to me. My journey with both autism and ADHD has been filled with moments of confusion, frustration, and isolation, but it has also shaped me into the person I am today—someone who’s passionate about helping others who feel the same way I did.

Childhood and Early Years

Growing up, I knew I wasn’t like the other children. As early as Year 4, when I was about 10 years old, I started noticing that my friends were pulling away from me. I wasn’t sure why, but I could feel myself becoming more isolated. I tried so hard to keep up—doing what I was told, following instructions—but somehow, I always seemed to miss the mark. My teachers grew frustrated with me, and I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting it. It felt like I was doing everything right, yet I just couldn’t keep up with what was expected of me. The social side of school was equally confusing; my classmates seemed to effortlessly form friendships while I was left trying to figure out how to be part of the group.

High School Years

As I moved into high school, I initially found a group of friends, and for a little while, it felt like things might be okay. However, that feeling didn’t last. To fit in, I had to constantly mask who I was, pretending to be someone I wasn’t just to avoid standing out. Masking was exhausting—it involved mimicking the behaviour of my peers, suppressing my natural responses, and presenting a version of myself that felt alien. I would observe how others interacted, mirroring their laughter, gestures, and conversations, hoping to blend in. But it was an act that left me feeling hollow and drained. By the end of the school day, I was mentally exhausted from trying so hard to be “normal” and not make mistakes in social situations. When I got home, I would take all that pent-up frustration and exhaustion out on my family. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t know how else to cope. This caused a lot of hurt and tension between us, and it only made me feel worse about myself.

In Year 8, around 2018, I was first introduced to the idea of an autism diagnosis. When I heard the word ‘autism,’ I didn’t know how to feel. It was scary and confusing. I thought, “Am I different? Does this change everything about me?” I worried about how people would treat me, whether I would lose my friends, and if I would be labelled as “the autistic girl.” Sadly, my fears came true. Instead of receiving support from my peers, I was bullied relentlessly. People doubted my diagnosis, mocked me for being “different,” and spread rumours. The verbal abuse was constant, and I soon found myself completely isolated. The loneliness was crushing, and I sank into depression, feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere and that no one truly understood what I was going through.

By May 2019, I had had enough. I made the difficult decision to leave my large high school and transfer to a much smaller one, hoping that things would be different. It was the best decision I could have made. The smaller environment provided the safety and acceptance I had been desperately searching for. For the first time in years, I felt like I could just be myself without constantly worrying about fitting in or being judged. Around the same time, I officially received my autism diagnosis. It was a huge relief because it finally made sense why I had always felt different. But it also brought up a lot of mixed emotions—I couldn’t help but think about all the years I had spent misunderstood and isolated.

2020-2021

At the start of 2020, I was prescribed antidepressants in an effort to manage my depression. While it was a step towards getting help, I still struggled to cope with my feelings of isolation and loneliness. During this time, I began to notice my struggles with food more intensely. I had always been known as the picky eater—the one who was difficult to feed. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I began to realise that my eating habits were more complex than just being picky. I experienced food hyperfixations, where I would eat the same food until I was physically repulsed by it. My eating habits fluctuated significantly; I would either overeat or forget to eat entirely, as my body doesn’t signal hunger in the same way that others experience. It wasn’t until 2022 that I started to understand these patterns might be related to Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID).

At the start of COVID-19, my struggles with food intensified, leading to a hospitalisation that was initially misdiagnosed as anorexia. I wasn’t eating or drinking and had lost almost a quarter of my body weight within a few months. It was a terrifying experience that highlighted the severity of my relationship with food.

2022

In 2022, when I was 17, I was diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis was like a missing puzzle piece I didn’t know I was looking for. I had always struggled with focus, impulsivity, and managing daily tasks, but I had chalked it up to being “bad at life.” Realising that ADHD was part of my experience helped me understand myself on a whole new level. It was a relief but also incredibly frustrating—I had spent so long thinking I was just failing at things that everyone else found easy. Finding the right ADHD medication was a journey in itself; I started with a quick-release option that didn’t agree with me at all, leaving me feeling jittery and uncomfortable. Eventually, I was prescribed a slow-release medication, which has made a world of difference. With this medication, I feel more in control of my thoughts and less overwhelmed by the constant barrage of distractions that used to dominate my day.

Living with both autism and ADHD has presented unique challenges, as they often pull me in different directions. Autism makes me crave routine, structure, and predictability, while ADHD pushes me towards spontaneity, impulsivity, and sometimes chaos. Balancing the need for stability with the constant distraction and restlessness that comes with ADHD has been a daily struggle. Some days, I want nothing more than a quiet, orderly environment where I can think clearly. Other days, I find myself bouncing between tasks, unable to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. It’s a delicate balancing act, and I’m still figuring it out.

2023 and Beyond

In 2023, I took another step toward my passion for mental health by enrolling in a course on Child and Adolescent Mental Health at university. I was eager to learn and immerse myself in the subject, but the university environment posed its own challenges. As much as I loved the course, the social dynamics felt overwhelming, and I often felt judged for needing a bit of extra support with daily tasks. I wanted to join in socially, but it was exhausting. I often found myself out late with little time to recharge, and living with seven others left me with little personal space.

By February 2024, I realised that the traditional university setting wasn’t the right fit for me. Instead of seeing it as a failure, I understood that traditional education isn’t always designed for neurodivergent individuals, and there are other ways to learn and grow.

That’s why I started My Autism and I. After years of struggling to find the right support for myself, I realised I wanted to be the person I wish I’d had growing up. Through my coaching, I focus on providing one-on-one support to autistic and ADHD girls and young women, helping them embrace their unique strengths, navigate challenges, and build confidence. I believe autism and ADHD are not something to be fixed or hidden—they are part of what makes us who we are. And with the right support, anyone can live a fulfilling, empowered life, no matter the challenges.

So, that’s my story—filled with ups and downs, but always moving forward. If you’re looking for someone who understands what it’s like to feel different, to face struggles others find easy, and to see the world through a unique lens, I’m here to help. Together, we’ll work on building confidence, finding balance, and embracing everything that makes you uniquely you.